Goldilocks and The Three Bears: Death and Porridge

Audience Reviews

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Phil S. @Xenothos Jan 4 Definition of horrible but expected that going in. See more Joshua H @RT44825951 Nov 18 Too boring, too dry and not just right See more Christopher J @RT14499164 Oct 31 This is the worst movie I think I've ever seen. The story is awful and doesn't make sense. The acting is so bad. It's not scary and hardly any murders. This movie is an absolute waste of time to watch. See more Owen T @RT00606758 Sep 24 This movie is extremely poor. This is sunk cost fallacy at its peak. The acting is poor, editing is awful, the audio is off. A killer having a mask on doesn't mean you need them to sound like a more muffled version of bane from batman One of the victims catches a throwing knife mid air like a super hero and then runs away. The next scene he is tied up. What???? See more BadNews R @TheMovieSearch Sep 10 What the heck kind of horror movie is this? Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Death and Porridge is the very definition of a de-rated disaster. Not only is it far from decent, it’s not even semi-okay. This one is a cluttered mess from start to finish. The idea itself isn’t bad: taking the classic Goldilocks fairy tale and turning it into a horror movie. That could have been fun. But instead of giving us eerie CGI bears or something imaginative, we get three actors wearing Party City bear heads, and the whole thing feels like a parody gone wrong. The supposed “family of bears” didn’t feel threatening, just cheap and awkward, and the psychotic personalities didn’t really land the way they should have. Goldilocks herself was another missed opportunity. Instead of reminding me of the classic character, she came across more like a twisted version of Alice in Wonderland. She had the “psychotic and deranged” part down, but giving her a gun was the lazy route. Imagine if she had used something tied to the fairy tale—a honey pot, a honeycomb dipper with a hidden blade, or even poisoned porridge. That would have added real creativity and tied the horror back to the story. The writing is where this movie completely falls apart. The setup promised a horror twist on a childhood story, but what we got was a random home invasion film with little connection to Goldilocks or the bears. Instead of leaning into the fairytale horror potential, the movie spiraled into bizarre, directionless nonsense. Yes, the characters were psychotic, but it was never enough to hold the film together. There was no tension, no atmosphere, and no sense of fun. By the end, it just felt like wasted potential. Verdict: Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Death and Porridge could have been a wild horror reimagining of a childhood classic, but instead it’s a cheap, sloppy misfire. I don’t recommend it whatsoever unless you’re in the mood to laugh at how bad a movie can really be. See more Isaac H @RT93249214 06/15/2025 A cool Watch and crazy kills in this one! I like the fact Goldilocks is insane in this movie and way better than what we were expecting. See more Read all reviews

Goldilocks and The Three Bears: Death and Porridge

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